The 3rd Farmers Market is tomorrow! We hope to see you there! Come for dinner, its Pork Roast with mixed vegetables and garlic bread! $12 per plate, $5 kids plate. Lemonade, and if your old enough beer and wine available for purchase. Water is always FREE! First 5 Play Group as always!

Do you continue to beat yourself up over less-than-stellar parenting skills?
 
The following is excerpted from an article by Dena Kouremetis entitled, “The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Coping with Parental Guilt” published February 17, 2017 on www.psychologytoday.com. Click here for the full article.

It happens. In fact, if you are a mom, it happens quite regularly: feeling guilt over not being the kind of parent you’d hoped to be, 20/20 hindsight regarding what you could have done differently, and a fear that you may have already inflicted enough damage on your nearly-or-fully-grown child that he or she will be forever frequenting a therapist’s office.

The fact is, most parents have regrets. It’s a matter of not permitting ourselves to be controlled by those regrets, chalking them up to lack of knowledge or maturity, and moving on as we continue to alter our behavior.  It's my personal opinion that guilt-ridden parents often make better grandparents because of all they learned (and regretted) along the way. And there is always that element that grandparents get to hand back the grandkids after they've spoiled them mercilessly, so they don't have to deal with the everyday tantrums and prepubescent eye-rolling any more.

Psychology Today  contributor Ann Smith lists the top 20 things parents offer regrets about in her article,  Are You a Guilty Parent?  Among them:

• not being there enough 
• not listening 
• being too focused on the house and/or work 
• not being affectionate enough 
• being too critical 
• yelling, hitting, blaming 
• being a bad role model 
• not taking the time to understand their child/children
• not being consistent
• pushing too hard 
• not pushing hard enough. 

 
It's easy to see how we beat ourselves up. But you can also take heart in Smith’s reassurances:
 
“Guilt is an emotion, not a reality or a life sentence. Guilt arises when we become aware of failing to be the best we could have been for our children. It comes and goes and can be mild or debilitating. Guilt tries to tell us something is wrong and needs to be corrected. If it isn't faced it will turn into  shame, a feeling of worthlessness and a negative sense of self.”

Showing regret for past behaviors can often be a process, and while simply changing those behaviors might be enough to show those we love what is in our hearts, Pickhardt offers the following steps to deal with this “damage” we believe we inflicted on our kids.  Keep in mind, some of us may have to do this repeatedly to assuage the guilt we feel and for some, it might feel as if we are offering this up too late.  Personally, however, I feel it’s never too late to say what you feel:

1. Declare culpability.
2. Express honest sorrow and commit not to acting that way again.
3. Make appropriate amends, such as asking forgiveness.
4. Most importantly, forgive yourself.

 

The entire month of June is Elder Abuse Awareness Month!   The following flyer  Don’t Miss the Signs   helps to identify the signs of Elder Abuse.  The Siskiyou County Adult Protective Services, Mt. Shasta Police Department and Yreka Police Department partnered with PSA Area Agency on Aging and the PSA 2 Ombudsman Program to carry out Elder Abuse Awareness Month  project this year in our county.  We thank you all for your continued support to help bring an end to Elder Abuse!  If you have any questions or concerns regarding  elder abuse in  your community, call 530. 841.4200  or 530.229.1435.

We hope to see you at the 2nd Happy Camp Farmers Market on  Thursday, June 22nd from 5:30pm to 7:30pm at the Gail Zink Park.  Hot Dogs and Hamburgers will be served  with a side of baked beans and fresh fruit for $10.  Beer, wine and lemonade available for purchase.  First 5 Kids Play Group was a  great success last week, come check it out!  

Also, Dancing Toes will have a bake sale and popcorn fundraiser booth to raise money for their summer dance program! Come check out their booth!  

According to Dr. Guy Winch, our psychological health impacts our quality of life as much as our physical health does (some might argue even more). However other than knowing our general mood, we do nothing in terms of regular psychological maintenance. He compares that to how automatically we apply ice packs to sprains, use Band-Aids for cuts, or gulp down chicken soup when we have a cold. Clearly, when it comes to getting attention and care, our psychological health has a lot of catching up to do. A great way to start closing the gap is to adopt the habit of “treating” common psychological “injuries” when you sustain them. Here’s how:

1. Protect Your Self Esteem. Self-esteem is the armor we wear to the “battle of life,” and yet when it is low, we often become self-critical and injure it even further. We would never spread salt on a cut or run around in a T-shirt in freezing weather if we had a cold, but for some reason, we have no qualms about kicking our self-esteem when it’s already down.

2. Take Control After a Failure. Failing impacts our perceptions such that our goals seem further out of reach and our abilities seem less up to the task. As a result, we often feel helpless and passive and we lose our motivation. To combat those feelings, review your goal and how you approached it.

3. Distract Yourself From Brooding Thoughts. Stewing over upsetting events only makes us feel worse, as brooding is surprisingly damaging to our mental health. When you find yourself stuck in a cycle of brooding and stewing, disrupt the urge to brood by developing a zero tolerance attitude toward your repetitive distressing thoughts.

4. Find Meaning After a Loss: Loss is a natural part of life and something none of us can avoid. Regardless of how painful or traumatic the loss, one aspect has been found to be extremely important for emotional recovery — our ability to find meaning in the events. Once you’ve begun to heal, think about possible ways in which you might derive some good from the situation.

5. Recover Self-Worth After a Rejection: One of the reasons rejections are so painful is they register in our brains like physical pain. But unless we know that, we’re likely to misinterpret the magnitude of emotional pain we feel as an indication that we’re weak, needy, or pathetic — and damage our self-worth even further. In order to help your self-worth recover, remind yourself of what you have to offer.
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For the entire article, 5 Habits That Will Improve Your Emotional Wellness, click here. If you’re struggling emotionally or mentally and would like to be referred to Siskiyou County’s Behavioral Health Services, please stop by the Happy Camp Community Center, and we can help you make contact with their services. We are located at 38 Park Way and are open Tuesday through Thursday, 9am to 4pm, closed from 12pm-1pm for lunch. All referrals will remain confidential.

The Happy Camp Farmers Market begins today at 5:30pm! Fresh local produce, food, beer and wine, craft vendors, baked goods, First 5 Kids Activities and so much more. BBQ Rib Dinner starts at 6pm, first come, first serve. Adult plate is $12 and Kids plate is $10. The BBQ dinner includes ribs, potato salad, watermelon and a local green salad. All proceeds from dinner and beer/wine sales benefit the Happy Camp Community Center and help pay for Farmers Market program expenses. We hope to see you there! 

The 2017  Spring/Summer Season of the Happy Camp Farmers Market begins in one week! Thursday, June 15th from 5:30pm to 7:30pm we are celebrating with a BBQ Rib Dinner with potato salad, "local" green salad and fresh fruit.  Plates are $12 for adults and $10 for kids, dinner will be served at 6pm.  We are also selling beer and wine this year!   Vendors  selling fruits and vegetables,  baked goods,  crafts, jewelry and more.  Bring your little ones for First 5 Kids Activities! 

In addition to cash, we are accepting credit cards (see the Info booth), SNAP EBT cards,  WIC Farmers Market checks and Senior FMNP checks. If you are interested in being a vendor, please visit our Farmers Market page. Don't miss the Farmers Market - we hope to see you at the Gail Zink Park! 

The Happy Camp Farmers Market is a program of the Happy Camp Community Center, a nonprofit corporation.  All proceeds from the dinner and information booth sales are  used to fund this program and other programs for the community.  If you have any questions, please call  530.493.5117 .