The Happy Camp Community Center will be opening on Thursday, June 1st from 12pm-6pm. We're inviting the community to come in and share their ideas for the future of the Happy Camp Community Center. We're excited to bring back several community programs like First 5 Siskiyou, MHSA Outreach and Youth Programs, GNS Commodity distributions and continue the Happy Camp Farmers Market, BUT we'd like to do more. We want to build a Community Center that all residents can utilize and enjoy.
We have some ideas and plans, for example, we would like to pursue renovation funding to remodel the building. But we really want the community's input on what the renovation should include. Stop by the Community Center on Thursday anytime between Noon and 6pm to "write on our walls" your vision for the future of the building, the programs and the services we provide. There will be drinks and appetizers available.
Our regular office hours will begin on June 6th, Tuesdays-Thursdays from 9am to 4pm, closed for lunch from 12pm to 1pm. We hope to see you at the Grand Opening on June 1st!
Every May the nation comes together to raise awareness about mental health. Each Mind Matters encourages everyone to start conversations, listen openly to one another and support a loved one with mental health challenges. We can achieve this by listening, speaking up and reaching out.
California’s Mental Health Movement encourages everyone to check in with loved ones on their mental health. Talking openly and honestly about mental health lets those we care about know that we support them. The following phrases can be used to create meaningful conversation with someone experiencing a mental health challenge. Before starting a conversation with someone you are concerned about be sure to have resources on hand, including local county mental health department numbers and suicide crisis resources. Click here for a tip sheet to assist you in the process of starting a conversation with someone experiencing a mental health challenge.
The Happy Camp Community Center, located at 38 Park Way, will be opening on June 1, 2017; our open hours will be from 9am to 4pm, Tuesday through Thursday closed for lunch from 12pm to 1pm. If you are looking for assistance for yourself or a loved one come by the center and we can refer you to Siskiyou County’s MHSA program. Additionally, you can find more information here or visit Know the Signs .
According to Darlene Lancer, (2016) research shows that codependency is learned in families and passed on generationally. It prevents the development of healthy, independently functioning individuals. When parents are codependent, codependency gets transmitted unless they’re self-aware and consciously make an effort to respond to their children in healthy ways that counteract their codependent patterning. But because codependency is learned, it can be prevented and unlearned.
The problem is that, like addiction, codependency is characterized by denial. You may not even be aware that you’re codependent and are unwittingly teaching it to your children, despite your best intentions. The most preventative steps you can take are to work on improving your self-esteem and communication.
Some of the main symptoms of codependency are:
As parents, here are seven key things you can do to ensure your children grow into independent adults:
1. Allow freedom of information.
One of the main characteristics of healthy families and organizations, even countries, is freedom to express thoughts and observations. Secrets and no-talk rules are common in dysfunctional families. For instance, forbidding mention of grandma’s limp or daddy’s drinking teaches children to be fearful and to doubt their perceptions and themselves. Children are naturally inquisitive about everything. This is healthy and should be encouraged, not squelched.
2. Show your children respect.
Showing respect means that you listen and take them seriously, which communicates that who they are and what they think and feel have worth and merit. You don’t have to agree with what they say, but listening to understand shows that you respect them and teaches them self-respect. Speak to your children with courtesy. Avoid criticism, which is destructive to self-esteem.
Instead, praise the behavior you desire. You can set limits and explain negative consequences of behavior you want dislike without name-calling or criticizing, such as, “It makes me and others angry when you tie up the bathroom for half an hour. We’re all kept waiting,” instead of, “You’re selfish and inconsiderate to tie up the bathroom.” When you treat your child with respect, they will treat others with respect and expect the same in future relationships.
3. Accept your children’s feelings.
Many clients tell me that they weren’t allowed express anger, complain, feel sad, or even get excited. They learned to repress their feelings. This becomes problematic in their adult relationships and can lead to depression. With good intentions, often parents say, “Don’t feel sad, (or jealous, etc.)” or “Don’t raise your voice.” Allowing children to express their feelings provides a healthy outlet.
Feelings needn’t be rational, nor do you have to “fix” them. Instead, comfort your children and let them know you love them, rather than try to talk them out of how they feel. Expressing feelings doesn’t mean that they should be free to act on them. Tommy can be angry at his sister, but it’s not okay to hit her.
4. Respect your children’s boundaries.
Respecting children’s thoughts and feelings is a way of respecting boundaries. Verbal abuse and attacks violate their boundaries, as does unwanted touch and sexual exposure or intimacy. This also includes tickling beyond a child’s comfort level. Additionally, children’s property, space, and privacy should be respected. Reading their mail or diary or talking to their friends behind their back are off-limits.
5. Allow children age-appropriate decisions, responsibility, and independence.
Codependents have problems making decisions and being interdependent in relationships. Children need support in learning how to problem-solve and make decisions. Parents usually err on one extreme or the other. Many children must take on adult responsibilities too young and never learn to receive or rely on anyone. Some children are controlled or pampered, become dependent and don’t learn to make their own choices, while others are given unlimited freedom without guidance. Opposite types often marry each other. They have an out-of-balance marriage, where one spouse takes care of the other, and both resent it.
Children resist control because they seek self-control. They naturally push for independence, which isn’t rebelliousness and should be encouraged. Age-appropriate limits teach them self-control. When they’re ready to test their wings, they need guidance to help them make their own decisions plus the freedom to make and learn from mistakes.
6. Have reasonable, predictable, humane rules and punishments.
Codependents grow up in homes where there are no rules or the rules are harsh and rigid, or inconsistent and arbitrary. Children need a safe, predictable, and fair environment. When rules and punishments are arbitrary, harsh, or inconsistent, instead of learning from mistakes, children become angry and anxious, and learn to distrust their parents, authority, and others. Rules should be explicit and consistent, and parents need to be united.
Rather than base rules and punishments on emotions in the moment, think through what’s important and what is reasonably enforceable, which varies as children age and are more independent. Explain rules to older children, allow them to question you, and have good reasons to back up your decisions. Research has shown the physical punishment can lead to emotional problems in adulthood. The best punishments are reasonable, humane, and relate to the natural consequences of the wrong-doing.
7. Nurture your children.
You can’t give them too much love and understanding. This isn’t spoiling them. Some parents use gifts or not setting limits to show love, but this isn’t a substitute for empathy and affection, which are necessary for children to grow into confident, loving adults.
Based on article by:
Lancer, D. (2016). How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 13, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-raise-emotionally-healthy-children/
May is Speak Up for Kids month, a campaign by the Child Mind Institute; this year they’re sharing honest stories from public figures about growing up with a mental health or learning disorder. #MyYoungerSelf is part of Speak Up for Kids, the Child Mind Institute’s campaign to raise public awareness and counter the stigma for the 1 in 5 children struggling with these disorders.
With the right care and support, we can help children reach their full potential in school and in life. Millions of these children don’t get help because of shame and fear. It’s time to end the stigma. Help us Speak Up for Kids by sharing these brave and powerful stories. Join the conversation. Tell your own story about growing up with a mental health or learning disorder by posting a video with the hashtag #MyYoungerSelf.
The Happy Camp Community Center, located at 38 Park Way, will be opening on June 1, 2017; our open hours will be from 9am to 4pm, Tuesday through Thursday closed for lunch from 12pm to 1pm. If you are looking for assistance for yourself or a loved one come by the center and we can refer you to Siskiyou County’s MHSA program.
The National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a) and the AARP Foundation launched a campaign called “Expand Your Circles” in November of 2016 to raise awareness of the growing problem of social isolation and loneliness in older Americans. To help seniors and caregivers mitigate the risks of isolation and loneliness, the association created a brochure that outlines risk factors and steps seniors should take to stay “ahead of the connection curve.”
“There’s a lot of stigma associated with admitting to even loved ones that you’re feeling isolated, that your connections have dwindled,” said Dallas Jamison, communications director at n4a. “So we want to combat the stigma issue by getting the word out, letting people know it’s OK, and there are resources for people in their communities.”
Prolonged social isolation can equal the health risks of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to a report from the AARP Foundation.
The association recommends that seniors take stock of their network of activities and friends and to evaluate what they can to do to make more connections. Some options include: nurture and strengthen existing relationships; schedule time to call or visit friends and family; meet neighbors young and old; and get involved in the community by taking on a cause.
The brochure also provides resources for seniors who feel they are already socially isolated or grappling with chronic loneliness. It advises they visit a primary physician to explain how they are feeling, because “recognizing that you feel isolated or that you’re having trouble maintaining a social network that meets your needs is the first step to improving your quality of life”
Markwood says these connections at a local level are key to mitigating a sense of isolation and loneliness.
The Happy Camp Community Center will be opening on June 1, 2017; our open hours will be from 9am to 4pm, Tuesday through Thursday closed for lunch from 12pm to 1pm. If you are looking for assistance for yourself or a loved one come by the center and we can refer you to Siskiyou County’s MSHA program. Alternatively you can call the Eldercare Locator call center at: (800) 677-1116 or the Friendship Line, 24-hours a day at: (800)971-0016. The campaign brochure can be found here and includes a self-assessment questionnaire.
Information excerpted from a www.usatoday.com article by Karina Shedrofsky.” Campaign helps seniors suffering from social isolation and loneliness”. November 16, 2016.
Happy Camp Community Action, Inc. is a Non-profit organization dedicated to economic development and youth programs in Happy Camp, California and surrounding communities.
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