If you are in need of mental health support stop by the Community Center, we are located at 38 Park Way in Happy Camp. We are open Tuesday-Thursday from 9am-4pm, closed for lunch from 12pm-1pm, and Friday 9am-1pm. The Community Center contracts with Siskiyou County Behavioral Health and we can refer you to their services. For the 24 Hour Mental Health Crisis Line/ Access Line, Toll Free: 1-800-842-8979
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December 15, 2017
By Danielle Fritze, MHA Senior Director of Public Education & Visual Communications For many people, the holidays conjure up a Norman Rockwell-esque mental picture of people gathered to enjoy food, friends, and family, accompanied by feelings of love, warmth, and excitement. But for others, the holidays can cause them to feel anxious or depressed despite all the decorations and festivities. There may be pressure to impress friends and relatives with a spotless house or the perfect gift. The need to travel and buy gifts can strain an already tight budget. The crowds in parking lots, shopping centers, and airports are enough to send anyone into a state of heightened anxiety. Obligations to attend multiple functions or visit everyone can be overwhelming. Maybe family time is tainted by unwanted conversations or a toxic relative. Perhaps the holidays remind you of friends or family members who are no longer around to celebrate. And last but not least, some people don’t have anyone to spend the holidays with. Here are five things you can do if you find yourself stressed or depressed this holiday season. 1. Say “No” if you feel overwhelmed. There are only so many functions you can attend (or host), especially if you are busy with your day-to-day obligations and have limited time off. Trying to be too many places or get your house looking pristine for company can make get-togethers that are supposed to be enjoyable end up overwhelming. If trying to be everything to everyone is sucking the joy out of the holidays, don’t be afraid to RSVP “no” to a few invitations or opt not to throw your annual party. This gives you the opportunity to reach out and suggest spending one-on-one time with friends or family in the new year when calendars are a bit more open and interactions can be more intimate and meaningful. Alternatively, if you have social anxiety, you may send your mental health into a tailspin by pushing yourself too hard to participate in events or go to crowded places that trigger your symptoms. If stores swamped with too many shoppers are your nightmare, rely on trusted websites for online gift shopping. You can increase the impact of your gift giving by selecting a charity on Amazon Smile – a portion of what you spend will be donated to your designated charity. 2. Be kind to your wallet. If finances are a source of anxiety, decline gift exchanges in favor of low-cost activities that you can share with loved ones. Offer to have someone over for a home-cooked meal, or plan a coffee date. It’s also not unreasonable to set spending limits or make homemade gifts if you can’t avoid a gift exchange. Travel costs can be prohibitive; if appropriate request that your family or friends help cover the cost of your travel for the holidays instead of giving gifts. Use technology to get face-time when you can’t be somewhere in person. Skype and Google Hangouts are two free ways to make video calls with one or more people. Facetime is also an option for iPhone users. 3. Know when to end unwanted conversations. Many families have that one toxic member (or maybe there are a few of them) who can turn a seemingly fine conversation into a family feud. When you see things start to take a turn for the worse, DO NOT POKE THE BEAR. There is no shame in removing yourself from the situation—leave the room or step outside until cooler heads prevail. If your dread is more centered around being grilled by friends and family about things like your relationship status, weight gain, or a tough life event you’ve faced recently, you have a few options. It may help to rehearse any replies to anticipated questions in advance of gatherings, so you don’t find yourself struggling to figure out what to say. You can change the subject of the conversation if you don’t feel like having a particular discussion, but try not to do so in a provocative or defensive way. For example, don’t respond to, “How are you doing since the breakup?” with “How are you doing since you got passed over for that promotion at work?” Lastly, you can simply inform someone that the topic they are bringing up is a sensitive one that you would rather not discuss. 4. Honor those who have passed on. Remember that it is okay to be sad. There is no way to replace the presence of a loved one who has passed away, but one way of coping is to honor their memory rather than mourn their absence. Some ideas include:
5. Don’t be alone if you don’t want to. If you prefer to spend the holidays by relaxing in solitude or engaging in self-reflection, there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you find yourself feeling lonely and without friends or family to spend time with, there are other people out there who are also looking for or open to having company:
If you are in need of mental health support stop by the Community Center, we are located at 38 Park Way in Happy Camp. We are open Tuesday-Thursday from 9am-4pm, closed for lunch from 12pm-1pm, and Friday 9am-1pm. The Community Center contracts with Siskiyou County Behavioral Health and we can refer you to their services. For the 24 Hour Mental Health Crisis Line/ Access Line, Toll Free: 1-800-842-8979 For this Article and more information visit: www.mentalhealthamerica.net/blog/5-things-do-when-holidays-arent-exactly-uplifting Alia E. Dastagir, USA TODAY Published 11:56 a.m. ET Sept. 10, 2018 | Updated 7:07 a.m. ET Nov. 28, 2018 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Photo: USA TODAY)
Mental health experts say it's time to normalize conversations about suicide. For every person who dies by suicide, 280 people think seriously about it but don’t act, according to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. There's not one answer to what makes someone move from thinking about suicide to planning or attempting it, but experts say feeling connected to other people can help. "Reaching out ... can save a life," said Jill Harkavy-Friedman, a clinical psychologist and vice president of research at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "Everybody can play a role.” Tip 1. If someone seems different, don't ignore it The most important thing you can do is look for a change in someone's behavior that suggests they are struggling, said April Foreman, a licensed psychologist who serves on the American Association of Suicidology's board of directors. It could look like a friend who would always pick up your calls but now seems to be avoiding you. Or a family member who was an adventurous eater now barely eating or skipping meals. "Trust your gut," Foreman says. "If you’re worried, believe your worry." Foreman notes changes in behavior are some of the most telling indicators, but it's also important to look for specific warning signs:
Tip 2. Don't be afraid to ask. Then act The most important thing you can do if you think someone may be suicidal is to ask. It may be hard, but it works. Don't buy into the disproven idea that there's nothing you can do to help, or that bringing up suicide might do more harm than good. The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline have identified these five steps to help reduce deaths: Ask: In a private setting, ask the person you're worried about directly if they're thinking about suicide. Studies have shown that it does not "plant the idea" in someone who is not suicidal but rather reduces risk. It lets the person know you're open to talking, that there's no shame in what the person may be feeling. If a person tells you they're thinking about suicide, actively listen. Don't act shocked. Don't minimize their feelings. Don't debate the value of life itself. Focus on their reasons for living. You could ask questions such as, "What's kept you safe up to this point?" or "What stops you from killing yourself?" Keep them safe: Determine the extent of the person's suicidal thoughts. "We want to know, are you thinking about killing yourself? Do you have a plan? What were you thinking of doing? Do you have the materials to do that? Have you gathered those things? Where are they? What could I do to help you stay around until this passes?" Harkavy-Freidman said. If a person does have a plan, it's important to take action to remove the lethal means. (Guns were used in 23,000 of the 45,000 deaths by suicide in 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.) Be there: If someone tells you they're thinking about suicide, continue to support them. Ask them to coffee. Give them a call. Some people will eventually stop having suicidal thoughts and feelings, others will continue to struggle throughout their lives. Deena Nyer Mendlowitz, 40, of Cleveland, is a suicide attempt survivor who has had chronic thoughts of suicide since she was 8. Mendlowitz said one of the moments she felt most supported was when she was going through electroconvulsive therapy and a friend brought her a meal. "I just felt like I had a regular disease at that point, because they were doing an action they would have done for a friend who was going through anything else," she said. "And I thought, somebody cares about me in the regular way they care about people." Help them connect: Encourage them to seek additional support. That could mean calling the Suicide Lifeline (800-273-8255), suggesting they see a mental health professional or helping them connect with a support group. Jennifer Sullivan, a 21-year-old college student at Worcester State University in Massachusetts, struggled with suicidal ideation as an adolescent. It grew worse after she was raped twice, she said. Joining a sexual assault support group made her feel less alone. "I met a fantastic group of young ladies," she said. "One became one of my best friends. When I had feelings of wanting to die or cut, I would tell her I was having a bad day." Follow up: Keep checking in. Call them, text them. Ask if there's anything more you can do to help. Tip 3. Pay special attention when someone is going through a difficult time You can check in on people based on what you know about them, said John Draper, director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. "All those warning signs that we’ve listed for what makes a person look suicidal are fairly generic and hard for us to be able to spot unless you’re a diagnostician," Draper said. "However, you know when a person is having relationship problems or going through a divorce – you know when somebody has serious financial loss. ... These are very human recognizable signs that people could be needing help." While experts caution that suicide is never the result of a single cause (bullying, a breakup, job loss), when those events are combined with other health, social and environmental factors they can heighten risk. Tip 4. If someone makes an attempt and survives, continue to be there One of the risk factors for suicide is a prior attempt. Studies show that suicide survivors often experience discrimination and shame and may struggle to talk about their feelings because they are worried people will judge or avoid them. "When I started publicly speaking about my experience ... people would treat me differently," said Chief Warrant Officer Cliff Bauman, a suicide survivor in the Army National Guard. "Somebody, if he was my friend and we laughed and joked the day before, now suddenly doesn’t know how to approach and talk to me." If someone you know is a suicide survivor, the Suicide Lifeline says:
Tip 5. You don’t need to have all the answers It's important to encourage someone who is having suicidal thoughts to call the Lifeline (800-273-8255), find a support group or reach out to a therapist, particularly one who specializes in evidence-based suicide prevention techniques such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Suicide Prevention. Resources to get help Suicide Lifeline: If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time of day or night or chat online. For people who identify as LGBTQ, if you or someone you know is feeling hopeless or suicidal, you can also contact The Trevor Project's TrevorLifeline 24/7/365 at 1-866-488-7386. The Military/Veterans Crisis Line, online chat, and text-messaging service are free to all service members, including members of the National Guard and Reserve and veterans, even if you are not registered with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) or enrolled in VA health care. Call 1-800-273-8255 and press 1. If you are in need of mental health support stop by the Community Center, we are located at 38 Park Way in Happy Camp. We are open Tuesday-Thursday from 9am-4pm, closed for lunch from 12pm-1pm, and Friday 9am-1pm. The Community Center contracts with Siskiyou County Behavioral Health and we can refer you to their services. For the 24 Hour Mental Health Crisis Line/ Access Line, Toll Free: 1-800-842-8979 For this Article and more information visit: www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/09/10/suicide-prevention-how-help-someone-who-suicidal/965640002/ |
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